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(July 16, 2009)
After last Sunday's photo-op in which former Gen-1 Galácticos David Beckham and Zinadine Zidane defaced wet cement in an attempt to get American urban youth to associate soccer with vandalism—and by extension with crime in general—both Becks and Zizou have agreed: playing on Fieldturf is slightly preferable to playing in wet cement.
FOUL caught up with the aging hasbeen and Zidane to hear their views on what the worst things to play on, in or for are.
DB: Fieldturf is utterly horrid. God, dear God, do I hate it. I am completelty committed to promoting the growth of Fieldturf in America, and whoever says I'm not is a liar and a ponce. Of course I'm committed to growing Fieldturf. Why else do I make a point of watering it every day?
ZZ: Fieldturf is, like, the second-worst surface you can play on. Fieldturf had a tendency to injure one's knees, but it's pretty easy to score on. Take that back! She is not!
DB: I'd definitely rather play on Fieldturf than in wet cement. The only thing worse than playing in wet cement is playing for the Los Angeles Galaxy. Which I am completely committed to continuing to being contractually obligated to do. Because I am, above all else, a professional.
ZZ: A footballer should never put himself in a situation where he's playing for a team he hates. Hell, I'm supposed to be Algerian. If he really didn't want to play for the Galaxy, he could've gone out and done a half-assed job. Like, maybe he could've only been decent with one foot, utterly incompetent with his head and never even bothered trying to defend
DB: I never told Zidane I hated the Galaxy. But, you know, he has seen me in the shower before.
ZZ: Oh God! I forgot about that! HAHAHAHAHAHA! I've seen girls with bi–Take that back! She does not!
DB: While we have a minute, I'd like to point out that no one from Nintendo gave me any money to authorize Super Mario Galaxy. It is therefore unofficial, and you should not play it. Especially in the middle of a Los Angeles Galaxy game.
ZZ: Especially if you're on the field at the time.
DB: My God! You don't really think I'll have to play, do you? I could get hurt playing on that crappy Fieldturd garbage.
ZZ: Not to worry. The Home Depot Center uses grass.
DB: The wuh?
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