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6 July 2010
With a semifinal and a loss to Holland still to play, Miroslav Marian "the Librarian" Klose is only two goals away from breaking (Brazilian!) Ronaldo's all-time World Cup goal-scoring record.
"It's not important to me whether or not I score any goals," Klose told reporters. Klose is a striker, by the way. "I just want Germany to win the World Cup. Otherwise I have to go to McDonald's to buy a little plastic replica like everyone else. Well, like Daniele De Rossi and Thierry Henry, anyway."
Germany is just two games away from placing 2nd or 3rd, like they always do, but Klose is convinced that Die Mannschaft has what it takes to go all the way. He also clarified that "Die Mannschaft" is not actually German for "the Man Shaft," no matter what you read on alt.german.fetish.
"I think we proved two years ago that Germany has what it takes to beat Spain in a high-pressure game," said Klose, beforing adding, "Oh."
Former Brazil and Once Upon A Hamster star Ronaldo currently holds the all-time World Cup record at 15 goals, forcing the world to concede the point of American assholes everywhere who claim that soccer is, like Wayne Rooney, far too low-scoring.
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