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Italy Spanked By Homos

By 季书恒

(June 19, 2009) The Azzurri feel "depressed and emasculated" after "being scored on by Homos."

"Homos trying to score on us is something we're used to," American-born Italian midfielder Guiseppe Rossi told FOUL. "I mean, really used to. There's a whole country of people out there who wish I played for the other team."

"Some people think 'buff on' is some sort of sex act, so yeah, it happens," said Italian goalkeeper Gianluigi Buffon. "Homos trying to put it between my posts is nothing new."

"Dude, it's just a name," said Egyptian goal-scorer Mohamed Sulaiman Hamza, also known as Homos. "It's not even pronounced the same. "It's more like Homoṣ. Yeah, that won't display. Really, though, a hummus joke would be more appropriate."

"I see where you're going with this," said Egyptian coach Hassan Shehata. "But Muslims don't have gay sex. It turns you into pigs. Reverse evolution and whatnot. Abu Nawas? You mean the monkey from Aladdin? That's Iraq, man; they're in the other group."

"Thank God Egypt's in our group," said Brazilian goal-scorer Ricardo Izecson dos Santos Leite, also known as Kaká."Finally, you idiots can make fun of someone else's name for a change."

 
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