(New York) Let the catfights begin.

With Women's Professional Soccer set to kick off it's first season on March 29th, scores of toned girls in skimpy shorts are ready to pop their professional cherries.

"Three words: Hot.  Young.  Action." says Commissioner Tonya Antonucci.  "We've got it all, and we've got it now.  Plus there's soccer."

"I like the way their boobies jiggle when they run down the sideline," says 16-year-old Austin Fogerty, "My dad got us season tickets."

But it's not just men who will appreciate the short shorts and toned girls, says Commissioner Antonucci.  "We have more lesbian fans than a free Tracy Chapman concert at a Chinese orphanage."

"We think the Lesbian community will really respond to the feeling of empowerment when seeing a fit young girl thumb her nose at male-dominated authority by ripping off her shirt after scoring a goal.  We also think male-dominated authority will enjoy seeing a fit young girl rip off her shirt."

"Of course, we're quite familiar with the history of girls' soccer in the USA but, look, we've got ample alcohol, busloads of young  hotties, and four poles.  We'll be fine."

Upcoming promotions around the league include "Lingerie Night", "Whipped Cream Night", and "Bring Your Dog To The Game Night."

WPS Notes:  Abby Wambach was waived by the Washington Lady Uniteds, who chose instead to sign Natasha Night, who totally looks like that girl in "Men In Back II" but with bigger tits.