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It seems like it was only yesterday, when, at the foot of the Wasatch mountains, Rio Tinto Stadium opened its doors. Much was made of how it was another step in making Salt Lake a world class city. Well, that was then. Reports have now surfaced that the stadium is 'falling apart by the seams.'
As everyone knows, Utah is very salty. And why is that? Because of the Great Salt Lake, that's why! It's 85% salt as compared to the oceans which are 3%. And guess what city is right next to it? That's right, Salt Lake City, a city founded by a huge polygamist salt cartel in 1847, when salt was king!
Now that salt is rusting Rio Tinto like the rear side panels of an old Chevy!!
Alas, when Real Salt Lake general manager Garth Lagerwey said recently "I think it transforms our club and changes the course of our future" everyone thought he was upbeat and talking about the stadium. Turns out he was downbeat but on Prozac and talking about the salt!
As you may expect, owner Dave Checketts is not pleased. "Nobody told me about the salt. Ok, it's called Salt Lake City and all that, but nobody told me it was like this. So I'm planning on suing the salt for $5 Billion dollars. With that, at a special salt-free zone, I can build a memorial to my late and much beloved pet turtle Slowpoke. Slowpoke always hated salt, by the way"
"Rusting is a fascinating process," explains Prof Bill Blight of University of Utah. "The rusting of iron begins with the transfer of electrons from iron to oxygen. And this is what is happening with Rio Tinto Stadium, where the corrosion is accelerated by a fantastic degree by the salt abundant in massive quantities in the ground underneath. Hey, I tried to warn them about the danger, but they never returned my calls." Is there any benefit at all? "Only if you like alot of salt on your fries."
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