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MLS STAR ONCE MIDGET WRESTLER
By Guppy |
The Columbus Crew's MVP midfielder Guillermo Barros Schelotto has a shocking secret, and FOUL can now reveal that in his early years he was torn between two professions. Schelotto entertained Argentine wrestling fans as L'Pinkio, the midget wrestler! His career as a wrestler was marked by some ugly incidents, and eventually Schelotto focused wisely on soccer.
How is this possible? Although he appears as an almost normal-sized adult on the soccer pitch, Schelotto is only 3 and a half feet tall. "Before a game," explains Dr. Mangle of Columbus City Veterinary Hospital, "Crew trainers bolt fake limbs to his arms and legs, and in so doing, he becomes nearly normal-size. His fat head is left alone as it is big enough already."
While a youngster Schelotto showed great promise in both wrestling and soccer but when it became obvious he would grow no more, his soccer career was placed in jeopardy. That is until a number of German doctors hiding out in Argentina took an interest in his plight, and putting their Nazi heads together, they developed a system of fake limbs. And, as they say, the rest is history.
His wrestling highlights (or lowlights) were probably the infamous bird-cage pairing with Tiny Eagle which resulted in the impalement of 3 spectators, and a series of disturbing cross-gender grudge matches pitting him against Helga the Horrible and her 'Broom of Doom.'
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