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I am afraid that Cuauhtemoc Blanco could be a serial killer
By Seth
(Chicago) I recently went to Toyota Park. What I saw there left me concerned that Cuauhtemoc Blanco could be a serial killer.
The taped photograph of a mohawked Robert DeNiro in Taxi Driver seemed innocent enough. But Blanco's locker also had copies of John Fowle'sThe Collector, the diaries of John Wayne Gacy and Jeffrey Dahmer and Mein Kampf. These tell-tale signs of pathologically violent mass-murderers raised a bit of a red flag so I looked closer. What would an acclaimed soccer player need with so many sealed 40-gallon drums and a padlocked freezer? And the smell? Well, you'd think a guy as famous as Blanco would be able to ask someone to get the dead mouse out of his locker. Then there were all the newspaper clippings of an unknown killer in and around Chicagoland who was butchering his victims into bite-sized pieces. Creepy.
I'll give Chicago's MVP the benefit of the doubt that the many locks of hair taped to his locker door may have just been from adoring fans. Or were they?
My concerns were highlighted in this photograph that I snapped:
I did a little research and found that the number of missing children in Bridgeview, while startlingly high anyway, skyrocketed after Blanco was signed, as illustrated by this informative bar graph:
So that's why I am concerned that Cuauhtemoc Blanco could be a serial killer.
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