July 2010

• Ricardo Ferretti Explains Difference Between A Pizza And A Jew To Tigres Fans July 25
• Ballack's Agent Claims "A Bunch Of Straights" Responsible For Decline Of German Fashion Industry July 23
• DC United Pins Hopes on Teen Standout July 20
• Common Octopus Smarter Than Max Bretos July 16
• Americans Discover Soccer; Americans Demand Rule Changes July 15
• World Cup-Winning North Korea Squad Returns Home To Joyous Victory Celebrations!!! July 12
• English Fans Still In Uproar Over England Exit July 12
• Close Klose To Breaking Ronaldo's Record July 6
• I Make Stupid, Hurtful Jokes Based On The Assumption That Any Man Who Takes Care Of His Hair Is Gay July 6

June 2010

• Japanese Men's Team Known As Samurai Blue; "Midnight Blue" Only Applicable To Japan's U-17 Women's Team June 19
• Joachim Löw Unbuttons Cardigan, Smashes Guitar June 19

May 2010

• FIFA To Impose Weight Class Restrictions On Hooliganism May 26
• 2/3 of Korean United Fans Have No Clue Who Eric Cantona Is May 20

April 2010

• New Changes to "Beckham Rule" to Help Cash-Stricken Clubs Compete Apr 7
• DC United Out to Get the Jews (In a Good Way!) Apr 1

January 2010

• Infantile Humor Jan 15
• Hell City? Jan 9

December 2009

• Insipid One Liners on the World Cup Draw Dec 5
• Don Garber Blackballs FOUL At Blogger Roundtable Dec 3

November 2009

• Seattle Fan Produces Photographic Evidence of Sasquatch Nov 10
• John Arne Riise Not Headed Back to Liverpool Nov 4
• University of Phoenix to Offer Degree in MLS Tie-Breaker Systems Nov 3
• AS Roma Wins A Game! Nov 2

October 2009

• 2009 Eastern Conference Championships Preview Oct 31
• 2009 Western Conference Championships Preview Oct 29

August 2009

• Red Bulls to Face Obama's Death Panel? Aug 23
• Herbalife Saves Donovan's Bacon Aug 21
• Houston/USMNT Forward Brian Ching Suggests Sacrificing Houston/USMNT Midfielder Stuart Holden to Volcano Aug 17
• Senate Republicans to Take On Human-Animal Hybrids, Like Cuauhtémoc Blanco Aug 16

July 2009

• FOUL Reveals Emails Between David Beckham and AC Milan July 24
• Beckham, Zidane Agree: Playing on Fieldturf Slightly Preferable to Playing in Wet Cement July 16
• Hopscotch Game Behind Aguirre Suspension July 12
• Confederations Cup Referee Suspended For Not Ejecting Any Americans July 8

June 2009

• Ben Olsen Joins The Fight Against Land Mines June 27
• Egyptian Players Robbed By Prostitutes June 23
• Ayatollah Ali Khamenei Defends Confederations Cup Refs: "Completely Impartial" June 19
• Italy Spanked By Homos June 19
• Cristiano Ronaldo Interview June 16
• Holden Mocks Air Disaster, Say Some June 14
• Diebold Implicated in 2009 MLS All-Star Voting Fraud June 12
• Dick Cheney Joins USA World Cup Bid Committee June 10
• Honduras Overwhelmed By US Midfield, Running Water June 8
• England Take Kazakhstan Seriously, Despite Watching Borat Twice Last Night June 6

May 2009

• How Narrow is the Field at CAB? Science to the Rescue! May 27
• Experts: DC Fans to be Insufferable by June May 23
• ESA Ask Kevin Hartman to Please Shave Head May 17
• Robert Warzycha to Hone Coaching Skills with Classic 90s Video Game May 16
• Jen Buczkowski Suffers From Cramps May 15
• Philly Fans Divided Over "Union" May 12
• Toronto Inks Stephen Hawking to Long-Term Deal May 10
• Sally Struthers' Plea on Behalf of MLS Developmental Players May 7
• Disney Acquires MLS Naming rights May 1

April 2009

• Things to Throw at Jair Marrufo's Stupid Head Apr 30
• Cosmogirl Survey Asks Tweens Which MLS Scrub Has the Hottest Ass Apr 28
• Actual Bulls Embarrassed to be Associated with New York Red Bulls Apr 24
• Columbus Crew Games Cancelled for Remainder of 2009 Apr 21
• FC Dallas Possessed by Gaseous Entity from Star Trek Apr 18
• Montero Reaches Out Apr 16
• Steep Decline in Crew Massivity According to Scientists Apr 11
• Kansas City Wizards Vow to Fight Sexual Assault by Fouling the Hell Out of Freddie Montero Apr 7
• Carlitos' Way Apr 6

March 2009

• NE Revolution Save Another African from Malaria Mar 31
• US Government Bails Out Manchester United's Jerseys Mar 30
• U.S. National Team Prepares for World Cup Qualifier and Coup D'Etat March 27
• James Bond, Batman, Inspector Gadget Close In On Jack Warner March 24
• National Indignation Over Red Bulls Bonuses March 23
• After Failure in MLS, Beckham Lands New Sponsorship with Old Spice March 23
• Jair Marrufo falls into Manhole, Finds Okulaja March 23
• MLS Rewards Fans with Marijuana March 20
• Maryland Lawmakers Demand Replacement Server Marc 18
• 2009 Eastern Conference Preview March 18
• 2009 Western Conference Preview March 17
• WPS: Girls, Girls, Girls! March 17
• Special Report: The Pan-Pacific Thingamajig March 3

February 2009

• Convey, Lost And Lonely, Joins Cult Feb 22
• Milan's Big Goals Feb 22
• Set Your Watches: US Beats Mexico 2-0 Feb 12
• Robbie Keane Caught In Dublin Nightclub With Fag Feb 10
• Forecast: Fog Gives Way to Light Rain And Drizzle, RFK Not Expected To Collapse Feb 10
• Physicists Discover Red Bulls Trophy Cabinet Feb 8
• Capello Has ActuallyHeard of Beckham's New Team Feb 7
• Rio Tinto Stadium Rusting Away Feb 7
• Guille's Shocking Secret Feb 6
• Retired Geezer Talks To FOUL. And Talks... And Talks... And Talks... Feb 2
• Christianity Teaches You That Jesus Raised the Dead, but Voodoo Is DIY Feb 2

January 2009

• BMO Field Doubles As Canada's Largest Mini-Golf Facility Jan 31
• Declare Sigi The Standard: A Poem Jan 31
• Kaká to City, "Too Shitty"; City, "What a Pity" Jan 31
• I am afraid that Cuauhtemoc Blanco could be a serial killer Jan 31