(June 19, 2009) In his first public statement after days of uproar, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei said that referees at the Confederations Cup acted with "complete impartiality." Demonstrators vowed to stage fresh protests today.
Addressing a crowd at Tehran University, the ayatollah voiced support for FIFA's referees. "Conspiracy has been ruled out. How could there be a conspiracy when it happened not once, but twice?"
Referee Pablo Pozo ejected 2007 MLS Humanitarian Of The Year Ricardo Clark after a clumsy but harmless tackle on some scruffy Italian diver, which sealed the fate of the hapless Americans in their 3-1 loss to the World Cup winners. Just two days later, Referee Massimo Busacca delivered the coup de grace to the Americans with a red card to Sasha Klejstan for an innocuous challenge on some diving Brazilian in the 55th minute.
Americans, particularly those with the last name of Bradley, took to the streets today in a "Day Of Mourning."
Khamenei, Iran's Supreme Leader, said, "Some have attempted to depict these definitive victories as doubtful victories. But let us face facts. The Great Satan sucks eggs. Rotten eggs. That's why he always smells like sulphur."
"Some, like the parasitic left back for the Americans, have sought to place blame on shoddy or biased refereeing. For this they will be destroyed. They will be wiped off the map, utterly annihilated, until nothing is left, and also hopefully removed from the USA's Gold Cup roster."
Khamenei added, "While our nuclear aspirations are entirely peaceful—cough, cough—Iran, if given the opportunity, would not hesitate to annihilate the bloodsucking left side of the American defense with whatever means were at our disposal. Yes, a female soccer player would do the trick, but we don't have any of those. Who you take us for? Mossadegh?"
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